Chapter 1

“I know you have a lot of questions, and trust me, we will answer them. You are probably also feeling a bit confused and disoriented, so let me start at the beginning, and some of it may sound familiar, but hopefully by the end, you will understand why you are here, and why we need you so much. And in advance, I am so sorry for everything. If there had been another way, I would've taken it, but there was not.”

It all started in June of 2000. Jerry was on his way to college. He had graduated just the year before, and he didn't know what to expect. He was just excited for the change. Jerry had lived in California most of his life, but unlike most California natives, who enjoy the warm weather and beautiful scenery, Jerry had not. He grew up in a desert. His home was about as forlorn and desolate as a home can be. Very often, he would wonder to himself if there were any other color in nature than brown. In his whole life, he had only ever been in four states: California, Nevada, Utah, and a 30-mile stretch of freeway in Arizona. He had never lived away from his parents, and was in many senses, very innocent to the ways of the world.
While riding in his parent's car, he looked out the window. Outside he saw large mountains, big and foreboding, but with a purple tinge of color in their peaks that made them breathtaking. Beneath the mountains was an area of land that could be confused for both desert and valley. In some stretches he saw nothing but dirt and vegetation, but in other stretches, he saws trees off in the horizon, as far as the eye could see. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to explore all of this scenery for himself. For you see, Jerry liked the outdoors a lot. He had always felt most at home, while camping or hiking.
“We are almost there,” his dad said, pulling him away from his thoughts.
“How long?” Jerry replied.
“Probably five to ten minutes.”
Jerry wondered what college would be like. He liked school, and felt fulfilled by learning, but this was not always the case. While in elementary school, he was made fun of and was ridiculed because he was different. He hated school at that time and very often wished he wouldn't have to go. Things changed in the fifth grade though. He had a teacher who encouraged his learning and raised his self-esteem, but unfortunately, also left him feeling arrogant and proud of his genius.
Despite his arrogance on the surface, he also was very insecure. He had often had a fear of the next level of advancement. At fifth grade graduation, he asked his parents if sixth grade would be too hard and he would not be able to keep up the workload. They laughed and told him he had nothing to worry about. He asked that same question to himself every year as school would end, but within a week of the next school year, he knew he would be ok. So, as he sat there, a little fearful of what the workload might be like, he also had a silent confidence that he had always been ok in the past.
“Hey Dad,” he said and paused for his Dad to look at him, “Do you think it will be hard for me to meet people up there?”
Jerry also had another fear. He was very anti-social. He liked to be alone, because he was always scared to meet new people. Mostly because meeting new people met first impressions, and he was notorious for bad first impressions. On very few occasions had he managed to gain a friend from a first impression. Most of the time, he just got ridicule and teasing.
“What if I never make any friends?” He thought to himself while waiting for his dad to answer.
“Don't worry Jerry. It is natural to be scared, but you'll be ok. Trust me, a week from now, your gonna have so many friends that you won't know what to do with yourself.”
“I hope so.” Jerry said, but he wasn't so convinced.
The next few minutes passed in silence as both father and son was lost in thought. Jerry's dad was excited to see his son move on with his life, but also felt a sharp sense of realization that he was losing his son. Yes, he could talk to him on the phone and write letters, but their “special moments” together would not be nearly as frequent anymore. Despite this though, he couldn't be prouder of his son. He knew that it was inevitable that someday, Jerry would make a very real difference in the world.
Jerry, on the other hand was just plain nervous. He was too nervous to realize that he would be leaving his dad soon. He was too nervous to realize how much he would miss this man that had meant so much to him. They had always been close. Most teenagers go through a phase where they don't trust their parents and they feel misunderstood. That never happened with Jerry and his dad. They seemed to always be close, and Jerry felt like he could tell his dad anything. One of Jerry's greatest memories from life with his dad, were the many frequent talks they would have about the purpose of life. They could sit and talk about such things for hours, not paying attention to the lateness of the night.
Jerry remembered one night in particular, as his father drove him home from a wrestling tournament that he had taken first place in. He couldn't stop talking about each and every match, going over every detail. His dad just let him talk, because he loved to hear his son brag about his accomplishments. Jerry spent a particularly large amount of time describing the last match where he had been down two points but made a last second reversal to a near fall, and ended up winning by three. Then Jerry's dad got very serious, and turned to Jerry.
“Son, I want you to know, I love to hear you talk about your matches and how well you do in them. I never want you to feel like you can't do that with me, but there is something important I want to teach you. Never, under any circumstances, are you to talk like this with other people. Bragging about your feats is a vain thing to do. People will not like you if you do it. Likewise, if you don't do it, then people will look up to you, and in many cases, they will brag to others for you. So, brag to me now. Tell me everything. Get it out of your system, because when you return to school on Monday, I want you all bragged out. Do you understand?”
Jerry looked at his dad, and was amazed. His dad always seemed to have a way to know how and when to say things in order to get the most effect.
“Yeah, dad, I understand, and I promise I won't brag to people.” Jerry said.
“That's my boy!” he said, “Now continue, I don't think you have told me about the award ceremony yet.”
That was Jerry's dad, and Jerry looked up to him in a way that he could not describe in words. He wasn't thinking about all that at this time though. All he could think of was what college would be like and whether or not he would like it.
“We're here.” his dad said as they pulled into the parking lot of the dorm Jerry would be staying in. “Now, get your stuff out, and I will go get the key to your room.”

Forty-five minutes later, all of Jerry's stuff had been moved to his room, and his dad was saying goodbye to him. There were some tears and hugs, but then, they pulled away, looked at each other, and his dad left.
There he was, standing alone in his room, and his dad was gone. Jerry had never felt so alone. He could see his roommate's bags lying on the ground. They were open, and some clothes had been thrown across the floor. There was even a red football jersey with the number fifty-eight across its front. Jerry deduced that he must've been a football player, and a very big one at that for how big his jersey was. His roommate wasn't there though, and he felt all alone.
He began to unpack his bags, starting with the Garfield bedsheets his parents had given him to take with him. He would've liked something cooler than Garfield, but that was the only extra sheets they had. He put the sheets on and then he put his comforter on the bed, careful to make sure it covered every last inch of the Garfield sheets.
He then began to unpack and hang up his clothes. Unlike most kids his age, he had no T-shirts. His high school had had a dress code of only collared shirts, and so he pulled them out, one after another and hung them all up. Then he threw his pants in the drawer, as well as his socks and underwear.
The room itself was rather small. It had two desks, two beds, and a small open area in between them that was about the width of the hallway outside his room. His closet was about the size of his shower back home, and next to it was a dresser with four drawers. He only filled two of the drawers, but the closet was almost full to its brim.
It only took him about a half an hour to finish, and when he did, he walked over and saw a note on his desk. It was an orientation itinerary, printed on bright blue paper. He saw that lunch was at 12:30 by the Kerry tower. It was 12:00, and he was hungry, so he decided to run down and get lunch. There was one problem though. He didn't know where Kerry tower was.
He ran outside, walked up to the only person he could see in the parking lot and asked them if they knew where Kerry tower was.
“Your a freshman, aren't you?” the older student said, “It is the tallest tower on campus, you can't miss it. Just head down that walkway until you get to campus, and from there, look for the tallest building.”
“Thank you!” Jerry yelled as he ran down the walkway towards campus.
All down the walkway, Jerry saw nothing but dormitories. Some were tall, some were long, and some were just old. He saw a couple students playing volleyball outside, and he was tempted to go over and ask if he could play. After all, volleyball was one of his favorite sports, even if he wasn't very good at it. Just then his stomach growled and he remembered that lunch was waiting for him at Kerry tower.
As he got closer to campus he saw at least twenty buildings across the grounds and they all looked tall. So he walked around, hoping that getting closer, he would be able to see which one was the tallest. He stopped first at a red brick building that seemed two or three stories high. He thought that might be the Kerry building until he saw a sign saying it was the Johnson building, named for Harvey Johnson, a very generous donor to the school.
Jerry wandered for about 10 minutes and getting frustrated that he couldn't find the Kerry building, he sat on a nearby bench. Ironically, the bench lay only ten feet from the Kerry building, but the bench had a bad angle for seeing the building's sign. As Jerry sat there, he saw many students pass in groups, and he guessed each one must be a specific orientation group.
Just then, a young man walked towards Jerry. He was tall, about 6'2”, and he must've weighed at least 180 pounds. The sun shined extra bright on his reddish-blond hair. He had a very athletic physique, and looked like he must be able to lift a lot of weight. There was also something very familiar about him that Jerry couldn't quite put his finger on. He walked up to Jerry, and before Jerry had a chance to say anything, said, “What orientation group are you in?”
Jerry hadn't bothered to look at what group he was, and answered, “I don't know, I was just supposed to meet at the Kerry Building at 12:30.”
“Oh, you must be in my group then. I didn't do the morning activities, because I needed to pick up some school supplies, but I thought I would join up with the group now.” he said.
“Where is the Kerry building?” Jerry asked, “I have been looking for it for about 15 minutes now, and I can't find it.”
“Your standing right in front of it. Oh, and by the way, my name is James. James Burdall.” the young man said with a embarrassed look that Jerry knew must be from his bad manners of not introducing himself right away.
“My name is Jerry.” Jerry said.
James gave him a long look and said, “what room are you staying in?”
“422 in R-hall.” Jerry answered back.
“Oh man, you're my roommate. What a crazy coincidence.” James added while rubbing his head and having a very amazed look on his face.
“So your the football player then?” Jerry asked.
“Well, I was in high school, but I am not good enough to play football here.” James replied.
“Oh, sorry I just saw your jersey and figured you would be playing here.” Jerry said with an embarrassed look on his face.
“If I were we wouldn't be roommates, because all the athletes stay in the Staffman dorms. We will have to visit their sometime though, because I hear all the gymnasts live down there, and from what I have seen, our gymnastics team is hott!” James said.
Jerry laughed at that and immediately relaxed. He had a friend now, and he didn't feel so alone anymore. James seemed like a real nice guy, and he definitely wasn't mean, so Jerry figured that maybe college life wouldn't be so bad after all.
“C'mon, lets go get some lunch. I see our group coming this way.” James said as he pulled Jerry towards a group of eight people.


The next week flew by. Jerry was way to busy to worry about anything, and what was more, he was having so much fun,that it just didn't seem prudent to worry. During that first week, he had gone to his new classes, met his professors, and gotten accustomed to living life on his own, except that he really wasn't on his own, because he had James. James was the friend he had always wanted, and it seemed strange that in one week they had grown so close that he had felt like he had always known James. The best part was how James seemed to lend him courage. He had gone on five dates that week, all with different girls, three of which he had met only minutes before asking. He was a different man, and James was the reason.
He really enjoyed his classes. They were challenging, but definitely not as hard as he had expected. In fact, he found that as he went to class, his appetite for information was growing. One class was not nearly sufficient to learn all the material. He would secretly pray that the teacher would go overtime. In this, he was a minority. It seemed as if everyone else were against learning. He often wondered how someone could spend so much money on an education, and then not seek to learn as much as they could. He didn't let this deter him though as he often found excuses to spend time in the library, reading books and soaking up their knowledge.
On this particular day, he was on his way home, when he saw Tom, a young man with slicked back, bleach blonde hair. Jerry swore that he probably spent more time agonizing over his appearance than he did anything else. His bright red shirt and faded blue jeans seemed to fill the mold. He didn't particularly like Tom. Not that Tom was a bad person, but he was just too much of a partier for Jerry's tastes. Despite Jerry's feelings, Tom had decided to take Jerry under his wing, and teach him a thing or two about life.
“Hey, Bookworm!” Tom yelled, “Hold up!”
Jerry slowed down so Tom could catch up.
Tom went up to Jerry's side, and while breathing hard from his run, said, “Coming back from the Library again? I swear, if the library charged fees for usage, you alone could keep it in business. You gotta get out more.”
“For your information, I have.” Jerry retorted.
“I don't mean stepping away from your books to grab a snack from the vending machine. You gotta learn to let loose and party a bit.”
“Look, you don't know what I do, I have been on five dates this last week, so back off.” Jerry said, as he glared at Tom.
“Ok, ok, I know you are proud of those semi-female species you have taken out on dates, but trust me, you can hardly call those...things female, and as for dates, taking a girl to lunch with your dining card, is hardly a date. Look, just let me give you some pointers. I'll have you dating the popular girls in no time.” Tom seemed to have a certain level of enjoyment as he commented.
Jerry didn't mind the comment about the girls, he knew they were pretty, but he was very disturbed by the comment about his dining card. So what if he treated girls to lunch on the money the school allotted him each day for food. He didn't have a job or money, but his scholarships were paying for the dining card, so why was that such an uncool thing to do. All he wanted was to go home, and be free of Tom, but unfortunately, things didn't work out for him that way.
Just at that moment, he heard the familiar voice of his friend James, “Hey, lay off Tom. Jerry is doing just fine. The girls he has been taking out are top notch compared to the skirts you've been chasing. Anyways, Jerry, we are going up to Sleak peak, wanna come?”
“Who do you mean by we?” Jerry asked.
“Well, there is Joan, she is coming with me, Mitch, Chris, and um...I think that is it. You could invite Tina. Tom, you should come too. It's gonna be a blast. We're gonna do some cliff diving. What do you say?”
“I'm up for it, when you leaving?” Tom said.
“In thirty minutes. We will meet in the parking lot next to the dorm. So, Jerry, what about you?” James asked.
“O.K., I have nothing better to do, so sure.”
“Good, well then I will see the two of you in a half hour. I gotta go pick up Joan, so I will see you later. Don't be late.”
And with that, James ran away, as quickly as he had come. Jerry waved goodbye to Tom and ran home to get ready. He also had to call Tina. He could only think of one thing as he ran home: how awesome it would be to see Tina again.

Jerry had first met Tina Stein in the cafeteria. He was sitting with James and they were talking about their classes from that day. Jerry mentioned how excited he was to go to his calculus class; he had always loved calculus in high school. Tina overheard him from the other stall, and looked over her seat to ask him which class he was taking. Ironically enough, they were in the same class. She was curious how anyone could be excited for calculus. She was taking it, but not by choice, her major demanded it. She was also really worried she would fail. After all, she only got a C in her Trigonometry class.
It was then that Jerry had a thought, one that he thought was shear genius, “What if I tutor you?” he asked.
“You would do that?” she asked.
“Of course, it would be no problem. I love to help people, and besides, I think calculus is fun, so it will just be more practice for me.” He didn't mention that her being very attractive also improved her case. He looked at her, and he was amazed by how blonde her hair was. It was so bright and full of life, and when you combined that with her striking blue eyes, it really was a deadly combination. Her clothes were high fashion, definitely not the bargain brand. She was wearing a bright pink shirt and a pair of worn jeans that clung to her body. Jerry was astonished by her beauty.
“Are you ok?” Tina asked, pulling him out of his thoughts, and his stare.
“Uh...yeah, I am good, so...I uh...guess I will see you later today at class...right?” He asked.
“Yeah, you wanna get there early so we can get seats right next to each other?” She asked.
“That would be awesome!” He said with a bit more enthusiasm then he intended.
From there, she got up to put her tray away. As she walked away, he watched her, knowing she was special. Sure, he had been dating lots of girls, but if he had to pick one, she was it. He quickly reminded himself that he was simply a tutor and that all that had happened really meant nothing in terms of starting a relationship with her, but as it often happens, the more he thought, the more certain he became of how much she liked him.

Jerry had only seen Tina twice since then, both times while in class. He thoroughly enjoyed talking to her during the class, and it didn't take long for him to realize he was falling for her. He kept trying to find subtle ways to show his interest. He started by doing a connect the dot puzzle of a heart, using equations to represent the coordinates, but although she really enjoyed solving the equations and connecting the dots, she didn't get his intended message. Instead she went on for five minutes on how smart he was and how she would never be able to come up with such a puzzle. Next, he tried to touch her right pinky with his left pinky, very nonchalantly, so as to make it seem like an accident. She saw him move his hand and mistook it for him wanting to use her pencil. She picked the pencil up and gave it to him before he had a chance to make contact. Finally, he just got up the courage at the end of the second class to ask her for her phone number. He stressed that it was merely so he could contact her if he missed a class, or to set up study dates before each of the three tests they would take that semester. She knew he would probably use it for more than just school purposes, but she pretended as if the request was perfectly acceptable, so as to make it easier on him.
So Jerry sat at his desk twirling the small torn paper that had the greatest treasure he had received since getting to college: Tina's number. He stared at it, memorizing the numbers, hoping that somehow those numbers would give him the courage to do what he so desperately wanted to do, call her. Jerry never had been good with phones. He felt awkward on them, and as a result, often put his foot in his mouth while talking on them. At times like these, he wished he could be as confidant as James on the phone. James seemed to always know what to say. He was alone though, and so it was up to him to do it.
Too scared to call, Jerry just let his mind drift away. He imagined himself hiking with her to the peak. He would feel a squeeze from her hand, and look at her face. She would smile, blush, and look away, but he would touch his hand to her cheek and pull her face back toward him. Then he would lean in and kiss her. Just the thought of that kiss made his insides go crazy. He knew he had to do it. There was no turning back. He grabbed the phone, and dialed six of the seven numbers, but after a short pause, trying to get the courage to finish, he hung up the phone.
Jerry cursed at his lack of courage. It was just a phone call. What was wrong with him? Again, he decided he just had to do it, so he picked up the phone, and again dialed the first six numbers. His finger hung over the last number, and impulsively, before he had a chance to hang up, he pushed it. All he could think as the phone rang on the other side, was how she was going to think he was a stalker, and probably never want to talk to him again. His heart was pounding right through his chest. He felt like it might stop at any moment. Just when he felt like just hanging up and being done with it, the phone stopped ringing and Tina answered.
“Hello,” she said.
Jerry froze, unable to utter a word.
“Hello...” she repeated.
Finally he broke free of his shock and said, “Hi...uh...this is Jerry. You know, from calculus.”
“Oh yeah, how are you doing?” she asked.
His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he replied, “I am doing good. Um...I was actually just calling to ask you if...um...you might want to...I mean, if your not busy or anything...a couple of us are going to Sleak peak to do some cliff diving. Wanna come?”
“When are you going?” She asked.
“Well, we are actually leaving in about ten to fifteen minutes.” Jerry answered. “I understand if it was too late of notice...maybe next time.”
“No, not at all, I mean, yes, maybe you should let me know sooner next time, but I am not doing anything, so yeah, I can go.”
“Really...you can?” Jerry asked.
“Yeah, but can I ask you a favor?” she asked.
“Sure, you name it.”
“My roommate is a sweet girl, but she hasn't been asked to do something since she got here, so would you mind if she came along?” she asked.
“No, she can come, the more the better.” he answered.
“It sounds really fun. Where do I meet you?” She asked.
“James is driving, so we will come and pick you up on the way.”
“Sounds great, should I bring anything?”
“Make sure you bring clothes you can get wet in.” Jerry said.
“Ok.”
“Well, um...that was all I was calling about, so I guess I will see you later.” he said.
“Ok, see you later.” she said and then hung up the phone.
Jerry couldn't believe it. She actually said yes. He was going to go to Sleak peak with Tina Stein. He wanted to jump, yell, and run all at the same time. He quickly got his stuff together and ran out of the room. He couldn't wait to get to the car and go get Tina. He knew this was going to be a good day.